The great beginning!

  I've become a new step-parent just 4 weeks ago.  My history, is simple I am was a single woman of 30-something, when I met the man of my dreams.  However, I never dreamed I would become a STEP-PARENT.  Not to mention for two boys, who are 10 and 12 years old.  I know, I know in this day and age there are not many single men around that do not have children.  
  They say its not easy to become a parent, that there is no official instruction manual on how to raise them from birth.  What about us who become parents later on in the life of children.  How should you act? What can you do? And when should you step in? We are not biological parents, so WHAT SHOULD I DO??
  When it was finally decided that we were going to be full-time parents of the oldest, I was, in a nut-shell nervous, scared, shy, worried, you name it! Is this like facing a Kodiak bear in the woods "show no fear".  I have no past experience with children on a full time basis, and we only had them every second week-end, for the last year, so you can imagine my distress.
First days were interesting, I was cleaning, cooking, organizing our new house, all the while trying to keep my thoughts from running to "YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!!" scenarios.
What was I going to do?
  I happily ran to work, in the hopes that some of my customers would, shed some light onto my new situation.  I got some advice, but not really in the way I needed.  I then scoured the internet, and discovered that there is not much out there for people like me.  
  Lost and slightly depressed, I was not looking forward to going home to a house that did not quite feel like I belonged.  My spouse, noticed my change in mood, and quickly became concerned.  After a few days of me "trying" to deal with my concerns, we talked. He was a little nervous himself having been in his sons life only every second week-end, for the last few years, Which really helped  me calm down. We came up with a few simple rules, and agreed we would not let him use us against each other. This felt like we were planning for a battle.  
  Now to explain this to "The Boy"...
  My nerves were so wound up, I thought I would have to scream out at the top of my lungs.  Turns out not necessary.  He listened as we talked. It is done, now we cross our fingers and hoped it was well absorbed.
I hope my sudden face-plants, in the reality I now face daily, will help others, and maybe we can share ways to survive the 12 year old apocalypse!